I am so lost in my thoughts

Today has been absolute shit for me. I am an idiot and that is the end of that. I found out I am not qualified for the ‘No Worker Left Behind’ program after all. When I first heard about it I thought it sounded like a pipe dream. I wish I lived in a society that valued education over guns and bombs. I’m not really bothered that I am not getting the money. What really is bothering me is the way my dad started yelling at me just because he had a bad day. He really had it in his head strong that I was passing up something that could help me with this program. I was putting my shoes on to go bowling and he just began calling me a lazy n@#$%. It really upsets me when my dad says those things about me. I want my parents to be proud of me, but he is someone I will never be able to satisfy. Nothing I have ever done has ever been good enough for him. He yelled at me some more about how ‘working at some fucking bar was never going to get me any place’. At this point I was ready to snap so I just left. It really ruined the rest of my night.

Karen beat the crap out of me in Bowling. I think the best I bowled was a 103. Sad because I can always bowl the shit out of the Wii.

Tomorrow is my first day of work since November. It feels really strange to have my ‘vacation’ be over so soon. It was really fun while it lasted. I’m not really sure what to expect. What more can I say?

It seems like only yesterday I was slaving away at the race track. Speaking of which Margret Z passed away the other day. She used to be in charge at the Downs when I first started. She used to call Dan & Me ‘Hoodlims’ and tried to get me fired. I’m not sure if I should feel anger towards her anymore seeing as she did start loosing it really bad towards the end.

oh my mind, how you wander….